Shame On Me

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. 

– Randall Terry

My toxic element briefly came back into my life again. Shame on me, I allowed it to happen. It was enough to ruin Father’s Day for me. 

This is my way of coping and I needed to vent. It seemed to help the last time. Also there’s a special friend that helped me through it even though she doesn’t even know it. 

It’s amazing how quickly she can turn my mood and life upside down. I can’t let it affect me anymore than it already has. I already gave her more though and time than she ever deserves from me.

I thought she was completely out of my system and I hadn’t thought of her in a while. I was 100% happy with her out of my life. Why did I let her back in?

Her negative effect on me manifests itself physically . My body gets hot as if I  have a fever and my chest pounds. 

She strolled in and out of my life with her perfectly sculpted ass for a few days and the whole thing got me all rattled in ways that it shouldn’t. I should be in control of my emotions.

I’m I hurt? I’m I simply upset that I let her do this to me? 

I know I deserve better. I know I shouldn’t have answered her text. I should have blocked her number in the new phone too.

Why? Why?

In either case, I can’t let this episode throw off my progress. I need to keep on going and ensure it never happens again.

Thanks for reading. I didn’t want to end on a bad note. 

I’m glad I have this outlet now and get this thoughts out of system.

I need to remind myself of how fortunate I am and I need to be thankful for it all. I can’t take for granted my loved ones who are and will always be here for me.